Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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