I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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