how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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