I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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