Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
