No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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