It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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