oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
