No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
