I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
