y did u give ur computer a hand job?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
