man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
