Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize