i permit you to call me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
