Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need water and some morals
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