i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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