if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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