just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize