i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
