yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
