so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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