Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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