Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
