Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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