I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
