She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize