that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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