the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
