So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
