you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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