Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize