Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
