I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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