So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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