And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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