Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize