omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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