I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
