Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
