Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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