Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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