found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
