I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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