you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
