doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
