You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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