You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This toilet bowl is my home.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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