like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
