Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Your penis caused this!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
