Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
even my farts smell like vagina
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
