Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
