Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
