i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
