last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My life is pants optional.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
