Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
