But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
