She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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