OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
