Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
