don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
