so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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