I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
