your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
