Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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