...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
