I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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