I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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