No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
