i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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