So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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