respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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