My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
