oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
