girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
